every fangirl and their friend who isn’t one
(via crystallized-teardrops)
IF SOMEONE IS SCARED OF SPIDERS OR BUGS DONT FUCKING PICK ONE UP AND WALK TOWARDS THEM WITH IT YOU ARENT FUCKING FUNNY YOU’RE A GODDAMN ASSHOLE
(via crystallized-teardrops)
forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
ambermay. 15. march 19. london. english + canadian. travel. sisters. bestfriends. music. tumblr. french.
If you can’t handle me at my Lindsay Lohan then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my Beyoncé
(via crystallized-teardrops)
| (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.) | |
| Me: | “So, where’s your mom at?” |
| Boy: | “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?” |
| Me: | “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.” |
| Boy: | “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!” |
| (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!) |
(via crystallized-teardrops)
today in yearbook this guy AJ was being really rude and disruptive so my teacher told him to act ladylike. instead of doing his usually disruptive stuff, every 30 seconds he would yell out
“MY BOOBS HURT”
“I NEED A MAN”
“IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY BEST YOU SURE AS HELL DONT DESERVE ME AT MY WORST”
“I CANT DRIVE”
“WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME”
(via crystallized-teardrops)
(via distraction)
(via ohwarriorprincess)
(via crystallized-teardrops)
will commit illegal crimes in exchange for mozzarella sticks
i wasnt aware that there were legal crimes but you learn something new everyday huh
(via crystallized-teardrops)
Things my parents need to understand
| I don't like to be touched: | that includes hugging and tapping me on the shoulder |
|---|---|
| I spend all day in my bed when I am home: | I'm too sad to do anything but lay there |
| Many of my friends don't seem to care about me: | wonder why I spend my weekends at home? |
| Yes I am single: | guys don't like me |
| Comments you make hurt: | that includes the jokes |
| I don't like to clean my room: | the messiness is my organization |
| You tell me I need to eat better: | it feels like you're calling me fat |
| You tell me I won't be able to have success: | I think that's a given |
| You have no confidence in me: | I have none in me too |
| You make me feel like shit: | I already feel that way |
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
hello 911 yes i’d like to report a murder
this bitch killed my vibe
(via crystallized-teardrops)
(via betterthanurnext)
